Brown, Laurie Krasny, and Marc Brown. How to Be a Friend: A Guide to Making Friends and Keeping Them. (1998).
Appropriate for: Young children on the spectrum
This book, full of fun illustrations from the "Arthur" artist, is straightforward and light. It covers everything from why you'd want a friend, the advantages of having a friend ("There are times when you may feel lonely or bored, when you want to have someone to play with), who friends might be, and how to be friend. It also addresses the feelings surrounding friendship (feeling left out or shy), how not to be a friend, being bossy, and how to make up after an argument. All good tips for those kids who still aren't sold on the benefits of putting in the effort to make and keep friends.
Burnett, Karen Gedig, and Laurie Barrows. Simon's Hook: A Story about Teases and Put-Downs. (1999).
Appropriate for: Young children who are being teased or bullied
Unfortunately, children on the spectrum are often the victims of teasing or bullying. This book uses the analogy of a fish biting a hook when a child gets upset or "takes the bait" when teased. It did not resonate with my son because he did not like analogies in general; he's a "just the facts" type. However, there are practical suggestions that a child can take for learning how to respond to teasing and to deescalate bullying: do little, sometimes agree, distract the teasers, laugh with them, or just stay away--all good advice illustrated with fun fish drawings.
Choldenko, Gennifer. Al Capone Does My Homework. (2013).
Appropriate for: Children 9 and up, particularly good for siblings of those on the spectrum
This is the final book of the "Al Capone" trilogy and I think perhaps the best of the three. The main character, Moose, who lives on Alcatraz where his father is now the assistant warden, feels the pressure of being the keeper of his older sister Natalie who has autism. Natalie plays a large role in this novel. What I like about this portrayal of autism is that the community of guards' families come together (mostly--there is one couple who is intolerant of Natalie's differences) to help her and they respect her for who she is and appreciate her differences. Moose feels the heavy burden of responsibility toward his sister and as Natalie's therapist points out, he needs to be around to help Natalie because their parents won't be around forever. Ultimately, he helps Natalie help herself, and that's what makes this story so sweet. Regardless of the autism plot line, this novel is full of action and intrigue that will interest many.
Choldenko, Gennifer. Al Capone Does My Shirts. (2004).
Appropriate for: 13 years and up, siblings of those on the spectrum
Although my 9-year-old son read this book, I don’t really recommend it for children under 13 because the book explores themes that I don’t think younger children can really appreciate. The story takes place in 1935 on Alcatraz. The narrator, Moose, is a twelve year old whose father is a prison guard there. Moose has a sixteen-year-old sister, Natalie, who has autism. Their parents are trying to get Natalie in to a school for children with special needs in a time when everyone is telling them to put her in an institution. Initially those on Alcratraz are judgmental about Natalie, but ultimately the small community on the island (including the inmates!) learn to appreciate Natalie’s differences. For my 9-year-old, this book didn’t really resonate for him because he didn’t see Natalie’s more severe autism as similar to his brother’s high functioning autism. However, this would be a good book to read along with your teen to talk about the challenges those with special needs faced a long time ago. There’s also a lot that could resonate about sibling relationships between neurotypical children and siblings with autism.
Choldenko, Gennifer, Al Capone Shines My Shoes. (2009).
Appropriate for: Children 9 and up
This sequel to Al Capone Does My Shirts, continues the story of Moose whose father is a guard on Alcatraz in the 1930s.
Moose's sister is autistic and now goes to a special school in San Francisco and seems to be thriving there. She is not as much of a presence in this book, but she is a thoughfully crafted character and is viewed with sympathy, caution, and fear that seems typical of the time and, sadly, too often today also. If you liked the first book, you'll like this one too.
Larson, Elaine Marie. Illustrated by Vivian Strand. I Am Utterly Unique: Celebrating the Strengths of Children with Asperger Syndrome and High-Functioning Autism. (2006).
Appropriate for: Young children on the spectrum
I picked this book up at a conference thinking, “This will make my son see how wonderfully special he is!” He is the real reviewer of this book. I had to reward him to listen to it, and after I read the title, he groaned. It’s a very quick read—it’s an alphabet book with spreads that feature each letter on one page and a great illustration and text like “I Am an Animal Lover” and “I have Fantastic Focus on the facing page. Once I started reading it he was engaged, but he made comments like, “That’s not true,” or, “That’s true,” or, “That sounds like Luke (his friend with Asperger’s).” Overall, not a hit with him and it probably won’t be with other kids.
Lord, Cynthia. Rules. (2006).
Appropriate for: 5th grade +
This is a wonderful story of a 12-year-old girl struggling with her feelings about her 8-year-old autistic brother. Catherine is both protective and embarrassed of David. Her feelings get even more complicated when Catherine befriends a 14-year-old boy in a wheelchair whom she meets at David's OT office. The author deals deftly with the issues of empathy and seeing different perspectives.
Meiners, Cheri J. Be Polite and Kind. (2003).
Appropriate for: Preschool
This book is a basic introduction to politeness and manners for young children just learning the basics of social interaction. Simple sentences, like “I say ‘Please’. when I ask for something” make it easy for children to grasp, but it may be too “young” for anyone beyond the preschool or kindergarten level.
Meiners, Cheri J. Talk and Work It Out. (2005).
Appropriate for: Preschool
Written like a typical book for preschool readers, with only a few sentences on a page (“Sometimes I don’t agree with a person. It’s okay to have different ideas.”), this book and its companions in the “Learning to Get Along” series are perfect for introducing children to the basic concepts of getting along with others. It focuses on simple strategies and provides sample phrases children can use in real-life situations. A book-ending section for adults, with discussion questions, games, and role-play activities is a useful parenting aid.
Stefanski, Daniel. How to Talk to an Autistic Kid. (2011).
Appropriate for: Neurotypical kids and adults
[NOTE: My 11-year-old autistic son, Jim, wrote this review.] I agreed with everything but it would be only effective on a nonautistic kid because it’s mainly to understand them [autitistic kids] not teach them. I would give this book to anyone who is in my family who doesn’t understand me, like grandpa, and kids who aren’t autistic who have patience.
Stup, Sarah. Paul and His Beast. (2015).
Appropriate for: Neurotypical middle-schoolers and adults
Written by a woman on the spectrum, Paul and His Beast is a special insight into what it feels like to struggle with autism and what it's like to want to be more "normal" but to not lose who you really are in the process. Using the metaphor of the "Beast" and a middle-schooler named Paul, Stup is able to explain how when feeling defenseless against sensory overload, bullies, change, compulsions, and anxiety, the Beast will take over to protect Paul, causing him to look odd but ultimately is soothing to him. Paul struggles after moving from a school for children with special needs to his neighborhood school. He's motivated to seem "normal," but he must deal with the everyday stressors of distracting sounds, smells, and touch, while those teachers and students who don't understand him at best impatient with him and at worst bully him. The author's insightful descriptions are not just limited to Paul; she realistically draws Paul's concerned mother, well-meaning teachers who don't quite get it, and classmates who learn tolerance. The book is beautifully illustrated and it also includes a helpful reader's guide at the end of the book to spark meaningful class discussions.
Verdick, Elizabeth. Words Are Not for Hurting. (2004).
Appropriate for: K-2
This is a great book to use to start the discussion with children about language and how it can affect people, both positively and negatively. More than just a book on what to say and what not to say, it gives children the power (“Your words belong to you. You choose what to say and how to say it.”) to use words in a positive way in daily interaction. Words Are Not for Hurting covers how words can affect feelings–a must topic for kids on the spectrum. It also presents how to deal with what a child can say if others use hurtful words. I’m not always a fan of teaching children prescriptive ways to deal with bullies, but that is only a small part of this worthwhile read.
Watt, Melanie. Scaredy Squirrel. (2006).
Appropriate for: K-2
The hero of this picture book is a squirrel who I am giving an armchair diagnosis of OCD and agoraphobia. He won't leave his nut tree because he is afraid of real and imagined dangers. When a bee comes along, he jumps out of his tree and discovers he's a flying squirrel and feels fabulous (until he lands). He learns that deviating from the plan can be a good thing. It's a cute story with a straightforward message.
Appropriate for: Young children on the spectrum
This book, full of fun illustrations from the "Arthur" artist, is straightforward and light. It covers everything from why you'd want a friend, the advantages of having a friend ("There are times when you may feel lonely or bored, when you want to have someone to play with), who friends might be, and how to be friend. It also addresses the feelings surrounding friendship (feeling left out or shy), how not to be a friend, being bossy, and how to make up after an argument. All good tips for those kids who still aren't sold on the benefits of putting in the effort to make and keep friends.
Burnett, Karen Gedig, and Laurie Barrows. Simon's Hook: A Story about Teases and Put-Downs. (1999).
Appropriate for: Young children who are being teased or bullied
Unfortunately, children on the spectrum are often the victims of teasing or bullying. This book uses the analogy of a fish biting a hook when a child gets upset or "takes the bait" when teased. It did not resonate with my son because he did not like analogies in general; he's a "just the facts" type. However, there are practical suggestions that a child can take for learning how to respond to teasing and to deescalate bullying: do little, sometimes agree, distract the teasers, laugh with them, or just stay away--all good advice illustrated with fun fish drawings.
Choldenko, Gennifer. Al Capone Does My Homework. (2013).
Appropriate for: Children 9 and up, particularly good for siblings of those on the spectrum
This is the final book of the "Al Capone" trilogy and I think perhaps the best of the three. The main character, Moose, who lives on Alcatraz where his father is now the assistant warden, feels the pressure of being the keeper of his older sister Natalie who has autism. Natalie plays a large role in this novel. What I like about this portrayal of autism is that the community of guards' families come together (mostly--there is one couple who is intolerant of Natalie's differences) to help her and they respect her for who she is and appreciate her differences. Moose feels the heavy burden of responsibility toward his sister and as Natalie's therapist points out, he needs to be around to help Natalie because their parents won't be around forever. Ultimately, he helps Natalie help herself, and that's what makes this story so sweet. Regardless of the autism plot line, this novel is full of action and intrigue that will interest many.
Choldenko, Gennifer. Al Capone Does My Shirts. (2004).
Appropriate for: 13 years and up, siblings of those on the spectrum
Although my 9-year-old son read this book, I don’t really recommend it for children under 13 because the book explores themes that I don’t think younger children can really appreciate. The story takes place in 1935 on Alcatraz. The narrator, Moose, is a twelve year old whose father is a prison guard there. Moose has a sixteen-year-old sister, Natalie, who has autism. Their parents are trying to get Natalie in to a school for children with special needs in a time when everyone is telling them to put her in an institution. Initially those on Alcratraz are judgmental about Natalie, but ultimately the small community on the island (including the inmates!) learn to appreciate Natalie’s differences. For my 9-year-old, this book didn’t really resonate for him because he didn’t see Natalie’s more severe autism as similar to his brother’s high functioning autism. However, this would be a good book to read along with your teen to talk about the challenges those with special needs faced a long time ago. There’s also a lot that could resonate about sibling relationships between neurotypical children and siblings with autism.
Choldenko, Gennifer, Al Capone Shines My Shoes. (2009).
Appropriate for: Children 9 and up
This sequel to Al Capone Does My Shirts, continues the story of Moose whose father is a guard on Alcatraz in the 1930s.
Moose's sister is autistic and now goes to a special school in San Francisco and seems to be thriving there. She is not as much of a presence in this book, but she is a thoughfully crafted character and is viewed with sympathy, caution, and fear that seems typical of the time and, sadly, too often today also. If you liked the first book, you'll like this one too.
Larson, Elaine Marie. Illustrated by Vivian Strand. I Am Utterly Unique: Celebrating the Strengths of Children with Asperger Syndrome and High-Functioning Autism. (2006).
Appropriate for: Young children on the spectrum
I picked this book up at a conference thinking, “This will make my son see how wonderfully special he is!” He is the real reviewer of this book. I had to reward him to listen to it, and after I read the title, he groaned. It’s a very quick read—it’s an alphabet book with spreads that feature each letter on one page and a great illustration and text like “I Am an Animal Lover” and “I have Fantastic Focus on the facing page. Once I started reading it he was engaged, but he made comments like, “That’s not true,” or, “That’s true,” or, “That sounds like Luke (his friend with Asperger’s).” Overall, not a hit with him and it probably won’t be with other kids.
Lord, Cynthia. Rules. (2006).
Appropriate for: 5th grade +
This is a wonderful story of a 12-year-old girl struggling with her feelings about her 8-year-old autistic brother. Catherine is both protective and embarrassed of David. Her feelings get even more complicated when Catherine befriends a 14-year-old boy in a wheelchair whom she meets at David's OT office. The author deals deftly with the issues of empathy and seeing different perspectives.
Meiners, Cheri J. Be Polite and Kind. (2003).
Appropriate for: Preschool
This book is a basic introduction to politeness and manners for young children just learning the basics of social interaction. Simple sentences, like “I say ‘Please’. when I ask for something” make it easy for children to grasp, but it may be too “young” for anyone beyond the preschool or kindergarten level.
Meiners, Cheri J. Talk and Work It Out. (2005).
Appropriate for: Preschool
Written like a typical book for preschool readers, with only a few sentences on a page (“Sometimes I don’t agree with a person. It’s okay to have different ideas.”), this book and its companions in the “Learning to Get Along” series are perfect for introducing children to the basic concepts of getting along with others. It focuses on simple strategies and provides sample phrases children can use in real-life situations. A book-ending section for adults, with discussion questions, games, and role-play activities is a useful parenting aid.
Stefanski, Daniel. How to Talk to an Autistic Kid. (2011).
Appropriate for: Neurotypical kids and adults
[NOTE: My 11-year-old autistic son, Jim, wrote this review.] I agreed with everything but it would be only effective on a nonautistic kid because it’s mainly to understand them [autitistic kids] not teach them. I would give this book to anyone who is in my family who doesn’t understand me, like grandpa, and kids who aren’t autistic who have patience.
Stup, Sarah. Paul and His Beast. (2015).
Appropriate for: Neurotypical middle-schoolers and adults
Written by a woman on the spectrum, Paul and His Beast is a special insight into what it feels like to struggle with autism and what it's like to want to be more "normal" but to not lose who you really are in the process. Using the metaphor of the "Beast" and a middle-schooler named Paul, Stup is able to explain how when feeling defenseless against sensory overload, bullies, change, compulsions, and anxiety, the Beast will take over to protect Paul, causing him to look odd but ultimately is soothing to him. Paul struggles after moving from a school for children with special needs to his neighborhood school. He's motivated to seem "normal," but he must deal with the everyday stressors of distracting sounds, smells, and touch, while those teachers and students who don't understand him at best impatient with him and at worst bully him. The author's insightful descriptions are not just limited to Paul; she realistically draws Paul's concerned mother, well-meaning teachers who don't quite get it, and classmates who learn tolerance. The book is beautifully illustrated and it also includes a helpful reader's guide at the end of the book to spark meaningful class discussions.
Verdick, Elizabeth. Words Are Not for Hurting. (2004).
Appropriate for: K-2
This is a great book to use to start the discussion with children about language and how it can affect people, both positively and negatively. More than just a book on what to say and what not to say, it gives children the power (“Your words belong to you. You choose what to say and how to say it.”) to use words in a positive way in daily interaction. Words Are Not for Hurting covers how words can affect feelings–a must topic for kids on the spectrum. It also presents how to deal with what a child can say if others use hurtful words. I’m not always a fan of teaching children prescriptive ways to deal with bullies, but that is only a small part of this worthwhile read.
Watt, Melanie. Scaredy Squirrel. (2006).
Appropriate for: K-2
The hero of this picture book is a squirrel who I am giving an armchair diagnosis of OCD and agoraphobia. He won't leave his nut tree because he is afraid of real and imagined dangers. When a bee comes along, he jumps out of his tree and discovers he's a flying squirrel and feels fabulous (until he lands). He learns that deviating from the plan can be a good thing. It's a cute story with a straightforward message.